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Homage to Old Mother Damnable, the CofE

By Fr. Wilson (articles ) | Feb 12, 2004


With a deep bow to the Church of England – jfw

“The Three Wise Men who brought gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh to the infant Jesus may not have been particularly wise and could have been women, the Church of England has ruled.

We Dumb Chicks from Orient are.
Mentally though we’re below par.
We, gum-snapping,
Know what’s happening:
We’re following that Star.

[Refrain] O! When the bar scene gets too old,
When old flames have blown out cold,
Up you jump,
Behind the hump
And wander out to parts untold.

[Gidget] Born a babe, as surely you see,
Why sit home and watch MTV??
Something’s out there
(YUCK! Sand in my hair)
There’s a Babe there for me!

Pepper] With a heel dig, and with a poke,
(Oh! Another fingernail broke!)
Wow, this mammal
Is a Camel,
but One that you cannot smoke.

[Britney] I’m the one who brought all the stuff;
Lugging it has really been tough:
Nose-stud, earrings;
Now I’m hearing
The play station was enough.

[All] Soon, we’ve got to stop for a break!
There’s just so much three girls can take!
This ain’t Reno;
A casino
Really would soothe our aches!

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Show 3 Comments? (Hidden)Hide Comments
  • Posted by: AveMaria580 - Feb. 13, 2004 2:39 PM ET USA

    With all the nonsense I have had to endure from equally silly females since entering the Catholic Church, this has done me a lot of good. I can see one of the parish sisters doing the choreography to go with the verses. Maybe I'll go back to the old King James version were St. Paul is translated as referring to them as "silly women blown about by every wind of doctrine."

  • Posted by: Fr. Zuhlsdorf o{]:¬) - Feb. 13, 2004 8:21 AM ET USA

    How would it sound with: - Patricia Ireland, Frances Kissling, and Kate Michelman? - Nancy Pelosi, Diane Feinstein and Jennifer Granholm? - Joan Chittister, Jeannine Gramick, and Maureen Fiedler? One more time... with feeling!

  • Posted by: - Feb. 13, 2004 5:11 AM ET USA

    Well Fr. Wilson, I enjoyed it even if no one else has noticed your versification talents. Poor old (500 years old) Cof E. They have priestesses (sorry, WOMEN priests) who write letters to the papers saying how much they have brought a caring hand to the Cof E by sitting with the sick and holding hands with them through the night. The Sisters of Charity were doing that 200 years ago and they didn't pretend to be priests. Other reports say that the Cof E is bleeding (financially) in having to pay out those of its ministers who have left that church because of these ladies. They simply don't learn!

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