College More Catholic Than Ever, Exec Claims

By Diogenes ( articles ) | Feb 03, 2004

BETHESDA (CWN) "Claver College's Catholic identity has never been stronger!" boasted Public Relation's dean Rev. Buck Shotwell, as he sat in his office overlooking the shady Claver campus. "Of course, you'll always have a few malcontent alums who cry wolf at any changes," he conceded, "but they tend to be 'red meat and rosary' types with thick necks who think Jesus taught his apostles the Nicene creed. Thank god most of us have gotten beyond that."

Shotwell dismissed charges that CC had grown away from the Catholic Church as "preposterous," and was able to point to several areas where the College's affinity to the institutional Church has increased from the putative "glory days" of the past. He explained that CC's Director of University Food Services, for example, was previously employed by the Cardinal Archbishop of Seville, a prelate known to be highly esteemed in Vatican circles.

Shotwell said that a survey of campus life conducted by the Office of Student Affairs belies the claim that today's students are less committed to their faith than their predecessors. In 1939, according to the report, the time daily spent in prayer by the average student and the average faculty member varied by a ratio of 1:3.7. In 2002, the ratio was 1:1.3. "Proof," Shotwell insisted, "that the religious devotion of our students has ascended to the level where it is for all intents and purposes indistinguishable from the priests who instruct them -- what Catholic college of the Forties could say the same?"

Asked what the initials on the school crest stood for, Shotwell paused and furrowed his brow. "Ad Mary Daly Gloriam, I think," he answered, "or something that sounds like that. You might ask our chaplain, of course. She went to Brandeis."