The Objectivity of Death
Sponsoring a successful bill requiring New Jersey pharmacists to dispense abortifacient pills even if it violates their consciences, State Senator Joseph Vitale explained that while he respects individual conscience, it “should not come into play when subjective beliefs conflict with objective medical decisions.”
Why did you drown the cat, my son? Surely that was wrong.
Subjectively, father, it may be so, but objectively I was strong.
I didn’t like that cat, you see, and others, they agreed with me.
Be objective, friends, I said.
Excess of water will make it dead.
Are you a man of science then, that your opinions always matter?
No, but men of science know that cats will drown in water.
It takes contention nine to five to prove that cats should be alive.
Surely you can see, I hope,
I could have also used a rope.
Let me get this straight, my boy: Your beliefs are all subjective?
Beliefs, oh yes, but not desires. Desires must be effective.
When my desire finds a way to make all obstacles go away,
Well, there is objectivity
In all of its activity.
But surely now, our creed is based on reasons, not on wishing!
This cannot be, for science knows that God is dead or missing.
Therefore religious supposition must be baseless opposition,
Which never can deny the fact
That water always drowns the cat.
Did science tell you what to do, an iron law of murder?
Oh you innocent! Mine own papa! You really must try harder.
They’ve made an end of useless chatter, proving that it doesn’t matter.
Now I can do it, don’t you see?
And there’s an end of sophistry.
You killed the cat, the cat! My son, the law cannot condone it.
Oh yes it will, it will I’m sure. New Jersey now has shown it—
The very wisest of the wise, the gleam of logic in their eyes!
Medicine that State holds dear,
Trumping superstitious fear.
We now have simple means to kill, and so we all shall do.
Objective is as objective does, though the subject may be you.
So strive to prize with every breath that grim objective, certain death!
All else subjective, this we know:
Senator Joe has told us so.
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